10/23/2023
By: Lauryn Bass, Multimedia Journalist
(Atlanta, GA) -- There comes a moment in life when you stumble upon a message that profoundly resonates with your own experiences. For me, that moment arrived when I stumbled upon a viral video of a woman who passionately declared that she was worth more than just a date at The Cheesecake Factory. It was this moment that sparked me to reflect on my own love journey.
It's been quite the rollercoaster, these past few years. I'm a 23-year-old black woman, and I'm in a place I never expected to find myself in. You see, I recently emerged from a five-year-long situationship. It wasn't quite a relationship, but it was more than just a fling. It's left me in a space where I'm not ready to dive headfirst into the world of serious dating. Still trying to figure out my emotional control, boundaries, internal growth and much more.
The dating pool, my goodness, it's an interesting place right now. #treacherous Filled with people who seem to have forgotten the art of genuine connection. It's as if expectations and intentions have vanished.
It's not just me; it's a trend that I've noticed amongst my peers. It's left me wondering if true male friendships even exist anymore. But I hold onto the belief that there are good men out there; they're just camouflaged by the chaos. There's an article by 21ninety, where they're questioning if coffee dates are low standard for a high value woman. See me? I love coffee dates! Consider all the fancy upscale places to try a new latte; coffee dates doesn't just amount to Starbucks. You can get creative! But it's become even a TikTok trend to discuss way of upselling yourself for a "better" date. See this example of @Tisiaxvs where she says that, "A spray of her perfume costs more than mocha chocha latte.."
These topics and more have opened up the conversation of setting higher standards; yet..I wonder.. are these dates more about the monetary value or internal personality of the other person? Believe me, it's definitely to each their own and you should know your worth! Dates are a case by case basis especially when you already have done your research on a person.
But, in this era of dating, it feels like everyone is afraid to show their cards, to let themselves be vulnerable. It's like we're all walking on eggshells, trying to maintain a facade of indifference. Seems as if gone are the days of chivalry and courtship. Instead, we're navigating through murky waters of mixed signals and half-hearted connections.
But even amidst this disillusionment, I refuse to give in to cynicism. I still hold onto the hope that one day, I'll meet someone who understands the value of authenticity, who is willing to lay their intentions on the table and take a genuine interest in getting to know me. Learns me. Loves me..and wants to grow. In the midst of this dating chaos, I find solace in the circle of amazing women who surround me. We're all on different paths, but we share a common bond:
We're strong, determined, and resolute. We understand the importance of self-worth and self-love. We've created a powerful network of support, like a safety net beneath us as we navigate these complex waters. We lift each other up, celebrate each other's successes, and provide a shoulder to lean on during those challenging moments.
My family, too, has been my anchor. They're God-fearing, and their wisdom has been a guiding light throughout my journey. The love, strength, and feminine energy they provide are a source of inspiration. They've taught me that my worth is not defined by my relationship status, but by the love I have for myself and for others.
So here I stand, on the precipice of a new chapter in my life. The uncertainty of the dating world is still there, but it doesn't define me. I have hope, and I cling to it like a lifeline.
My experiences have taught me resilience and patience, and I trust that the right person will come into my life when the time is right. In the meantime, I focus on self-growth and cherishing the strong bonds of friendship and family that surround me. I still am looking forward to God's next blessing for me, knowing that it will be worth the wait.
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